Which is more exhausting, being depressed or faking that you are not?

What's worse being depressed or faking that you aren't?

Which is more exhausting,

being depressed

or faking that your not?

We want to belong.  At our core I believe,  that most of our problems,  stems from us not wanting  to be alone; not feeling like we don't belong  and realizing that we may just be  as average as we feared we would not be. 

Our stress, anxiety depression,

anger, abandonment issues, all of it  at the core bleeds from being alone,  fear of it, memories from it,  unhealed scars still lingering  from the last time  we had to admit that  we experienced it

or just not wanting to

live with, identify or admit

being imprisoned by it. 

We silently suffer in  the fear and silence  of loneliness, because  we live in a world  where the only thing worse  that being alone,

is being discovered that you are.

So you fake book on Facebook

and pretend to be not lonely

on your Instagram and twitter.

  We don't want to be alone  but sometimes we are forced to be  and the madness from it is  making us sick! Sick! Sick sick!.  We are dying from isolation  disconnection and   lack of human interaction.

  We look around and the people  that we are suppose to  be connected to  most of the times,  we aren't.  They know a version of us  the ones we've sold them which is sometime the version  we've sold ourselves. 

Our Facebook,Instagram,Twitter version  where we smile and everything is great  while our hearts ache for someone  we can tell  that we are not ok  we are not grounded. we are trying to figure out  if we are alone and depressed  or depressed and alone  does it matter?. 

We have normalized loneliness

 as we perpetuate this cycle   saying we have problems  because we are alone  while keeping to ourselves trying to be alone  with our problems.