Which is more exhausting, being depressed or faking that you are not?

Which is more exhausting,

being depressed

or faking that your not?

We want to belong. 
 At our core I believe, 
 that most of our problems, 
 stems from us not wanting 
 to be alone;
 not feeling like we don't belong 
 and realizing that we may just be 
 as average as we feared we would not be. 

Our stress, anxiety depression,

anger, abandonment issues, all of it 
 at the core bleeds from being alone, 
 fear of it, memories from it, 
 unhealed scars still lingering 
 from the last time 
 we had to admit that 
 we experienced it

or just not wanting to

live with, identify or admit

being imprisoned by it. 

 We silently suffer in 
 the fear and silence 
 of loneliness, because 
 we live in a world 
 where the only thing worse 
 that being alone,

is being discovered that you are.

So you fake book on Facebook

and pretend to be not lonely

on your Instagram and twitter.

 
 We don't want to be alone 
 but sometimes we are forced to be 
 and the madness from it is 
 making us sick! Sick! Sick sick!. 
 We are dying from isolation 
 disconnection and  
 lack of human interaction.

 
 We look around and the people 
 that we are suppose to 
 be connected to 
 most of the times, 
 we aren't. 
 They know a version of us 
 the ones we've sold them which
 is sometime the version 
 we've sold ourselves. 

 Our Facebook,Instagram,Twitter version 
 where we smile and everything is great 
 while our hearts ache for someone 
 we can tell 
 that we are not ok 
 we are not grounded.
 we are trying to figure out 
 if we are alone and depressed 
 or depressed and alone 
 does it matter?. 

We have normalized loneliness

 as we perpetuate
 this cycle  
 saying we have problems 
 because we are alone 
 while keeping to ourselves
 trying to be alone 
 with our problems.